Today I sat down to get to work on some CABINET pages and wanted to watch something, as I often do, while I worked. This isn’t a unique thing by any stretch. Loads of artists and writers work with movies streaming on Netflix in the background. Today was special though. Today, I watched the 1959 Mexican movie “Santa Claus”.
Perhaps some of you have had the wonderful opportunity to watch this film, but, if you haven’t, do not watch while you work. You will get nothing done.
This is a movie that opens with Santa Claus getting prepared for X-mas. He does so the same way you or I are quite familiar with, by spending a good 15 to 20 minutes playing a organ and controlling a work shop full or multi-cultural children. Each culture represented by a song that represents their culture in turn. it’s painfully obvious how this is going to play out to us the viewers if you know anything about other cultures. Examples: for the children from London, it’s quite obvious that they would sing “London Bridges” or even more obvious the fact that the American kids sang “Mary had a Little Lamb”. All done by children who looked bewildered and lost.
Except for the kids from Mexico, those kids were on it! peppy and excited.
Anyways, I was close to turning it off by this point because it really does go on forever. Then they stopped and it begins to lead into the meat and potatoes of the story.
A couple kids come to Santa from the workshop and want him to scope out this dope new toy. A devil that you light with fire and it goes fucking ape shit spraying sparks everywhere and spinning out of control madly. Santa is not amused.
The next scene we are in Hell and a group of demons do a very very odd hopping around take on a ballet or something. Then A booming voice comes across. This, obviously is Lucifer. He chastises their awful ballet and demands they get back to work or whatever. BUT NOT YOU PITCH!!
Enter our evil protagonist, Pitch. Pitch is charged with stopping Santa Claus (at which he fails yearly) by turning all the children of Earth “evil”.
Lucifer threatens Pitch with the worst of all punishments of Hell. The most disgusting and vile punishment for failure a demon could ever imagine. Ice cream.
Pitch goes to Earth and recruits what seems to be the only 3 boys on the planet who are “bad”. I am going to leave off with only a couple other facts (I do NOT want to spoil this amazing movie for you), A) Pitch becomes obsessed with this one poor (financially) girl who is good. This girl is so cute and good they had to get one that was literally terrified of the camera. B) Pitch uses a tactic of trying to use her dreams against her. I am lost for words at the fact that this tiny child didn’t give into the Devils wishes after a crazy song and dance number with giant dolls telling her that Dolls don’t wanna hang with little girls who ain’t evil.
I promise you, WATCH THIS MOVIE (you can stream it on Netflix) and you will be able to win every argument with every person about every subject. Ever.
It’s a quick cheese fest, kinda like the movie. (There was actually a scene in which Pitch’s horns were terribly misaligned) Also, Merlin is in it.